For most of my life, I struggled with admitting I was wrong. Now, I actually look forward to it.
What brought on my about-face?
The best way I can put it is that I have seen the light. As a result of decades of working on myself, I’ve come to realize that nothing is more important to me than being kind and loving to people — my wife, first and foremost.
Despite that heartfelt insight, there will continue to be occasions when I “lose it,” spouting words to my wife that, let’s just say, I’m far from proud of.
Apparently, the four decades or so I’ve been in therapy are finally paying off — big time.
I could pick myself apart by questioning what the hell took me so long, but I’m happy to say my self-judgment days are over. Judging myself only gets in the way of loving myself — been there, done that.
So bye-bye, self-judgment. Hello, accepting-myself-just-as-I-am! (I just caught my heart smiling as I was keying in those words.)
I feel as if I’ve been reborn, that my 68-year-old body and brain get to time travel back to being a child, but this time with…
My nose isn’t that big in person. Just saying.
Moving on …
I treasure authentic connection. That’s why I read and write on Medium. I’m not interested in finding out “The Top 5 Android Apps of 2020” or the top 5 anything for that matter. If I was, I simply would google it and save the $50 per year Medium subscription cost.
When I read articles, I’m looking for an authentic voice. The more authentic your voice is, the more interested I am in what you have to say and the more I benefit from your words. Because I feel…
Where the heck did you get that notion you’re not good enough?
I can assure you two things …
Most significantly …
It’s FAKE NEWS!
Our “can’t get rid of you too soon” President believes if you tell the same lies enough times, people will accept it as truth. As excruciatingly painful it is to say, we are not so different from “the Donald” in that regard.
When we persist in telling ourselves the same lies about not being good enough, day after day…
It’s easy to be kind, until it isn’t.
There is nothing I value more than being kind. If I could choose one statement to be said about me from the pulpit at my eulogy, it would be …
Art was a kind hearted person.
Yet, I can be one mean, inconsiderate ass at times.
Do you value kindness as I do, yet sometimes inexplicably find yourself acting totally out of character?
Where the “kind thing” you typically would do without giving a second thought to it feels like the “very last thing” you want to do.
It could be a…
Well, that’s at least one thing I’ve always found easy to be grateful for — cookies and cream ice cream.
For that matter, any flavor as long as there’s at least a hint of chocolate in it. I could eat ice cream all day, including for breakfast (yes, I indulged this morning). Heck, I don’t even need Haagen-Dazs — the store brand works just as well.
With few exceptions (one of them being the above), I can tell you …
My whole life, I’ve been terrible at being grateful. I really, really suck at it.
Let’s just say — not…
You may be saying to yourself: Wow, that sounds awesome. Exactly how do I go about doing this?
It all begins with mindfulness.
Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not the most mindful person. Frankly, I find it to be quite the challenge. As per the above definition, one component of mindfulness is attending to the present moment. That’s not exactly me. Heck, if I could get frequent flyer miles for time-traveling, I would be entitled to multiple free trips around the globe.
Weird shit happens to all of us on occasion. This past Monday morning was apparently my turn, in spades.
Later on during the day, my wife told me what had happened. I have zero recollection of any of it. Nor do I expect I ever will. Pretty darn scary!
You woke up this morning and said you were feeling strange. The first thing you asked me was what day of the week it was. I had a sense something was wrong. You asked me what’s our schedule for the day. We have no schedule. All the activities we used to…
Question: What do you do when you need to make an important decision that involves the two people you love the most, they each want their own way, and you feel stuck in the middle?
Answer: Do your best to do what you believe is the right thing according to your values.
The Challenge: One of the two parties will likely be very upset with you.
I am a people pleaser.
The situation above is a people pleaser’s nightmare.
I was in it last week.
I didn’t do what was right for me.
I’m paying the price for that.
I love to write. Why? Because it gets me in touch with myself. It’s therapeutic for me and hopefully helpful to others. That’s my goal, to touch hearts!