You’ll feel better for doing the loving thing

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For most of my life, I struggled with admitting I was wrong. Now, I actually look forward to it.

What brought on my about-face?

The best way I can put it is that I have seen the light. As a result of decades of working on myself, I’ve come to realize that nothing is more important to me than being kind and loving to people — my wife, first and foremost.

Despite that heartfelt insight, there will continue to be occasions when I “lose it,” spouting words to my wife that, let’s just say, I’m far from proud of.


I wish the same for you — you deserve it.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Apparently, the four decades or so I’ve been in therapy are finally paying off — big time.

I could pick myself apart by questioning what the hell took me so long, but I’m happy to say my self-judgment days are over. Judging myself only gets in the way of loving myself — been there, done that.

So bye-bye, self-judgment. Hello, accepting-myself-just-as-I-am! (I just caught my heart smiling as I was keying in those words.)

I feel as if I’ve been reborn, that my 68-year-old body and brain get to time travel back to being a child, but this time with…

To help us live the happy and fulfilling lives we so deserve

photo by author

My nose isn’t that big in person. Just saying.

Moving on …

I treasure authentic connection. That’s why I read and write on Medium. I’m not interested in finding out “The Top 5 Android Apps of 2020” or the top 5 anything for that matter. If I was, I simply would google it and save the $50 per year Medium subscription cost.

When I read articles, I’m looking for an authentic voice. The more authentic your voice is, the more interested I am in what you have to say and the more I benefit from your words. Because I feel…

If so, I got something to tell you … It’s FAKE NEWS!!!

Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

Where the heck did you get that notion you’re not good enough?

I can assure you two things …

  • it wasn’t from reliable sources
  • it was from people who believed they were not good enough

Most significantly …


The Repetition Effect

Our “can’t get rid of you too soon” President believes if you tell the same lies enough times, people will accept it as truth. As excruciatingly painful it is to say, we are not so different from “the Donald” in that regard.

When we persist in telling ourselves the same lies about not being good enough, day after day…

Kindness takes the back seat when we get emotionally triggered

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It’s easy to be kind, until it isn’t.

There is nothing I value more than being kind. If I could choose one statement to be said about me from the pulpit at my eulogy, it would be …

Art was a kind hearted person.

Yet, I can be one mean, inconsiderate ass at times.

Do you value kindness as I do, yet sometimes inexplicably find yourself acting totally out of character?

Where the “kind thing” you typically would do without giving a second thought to it feels like the “very last thing” you want to do.

It could be a…

You’ve enriched my life and here’s how

I read your words and I feel compassion and admiration for you, right from the get-go. All I want to do is to be there for you. Oh, how I wish we were in the same room so I could give you a hug, offer reassuring words, shout out “yippee” in celebration of your courage and perseverance. You got a fan in me.

I read your words and I feel understood, despite not having shared a word of my story with you. Though our stories may be different, we speak the same language — the language of the heart. We…

If I don’t chill out soon, then I may as well go back to work and make a few bucks

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I take my retirement way too seriously, as if it’s a job that I need to perform perfectly.

For example, aren’t hobbies supposed to be fun? That’s what I’ve heard anyhow. That concept may apply to most people but not to myself.

My main two hobbies are writing and singing. Do I enjoy writing? No. It’s often akin to self-torture. How many freaking times am I going to rewrite the same sentence trying to find the perfect words? How is it possible it takes me a week or two to write one 5–7 minute article. Most people couldn’t stretch it…

If you relate, here’s a better way to appreciate all you have

Picture courtesy of the author

Well, that’s at least one thing I’ve always found easy to be grateful for — cookies and cream ice cream.

For that matter, any flavor as long as there’s at least a hint of chocolate in it. I could eat ice cream all day, including for breakfast (yes, I indulged this morning). Heck, I don’t even need Haagen-Dazs — the store brand works just as well.

With few exceptions (one of them being the above), I can tell you …

My whole life, I’ve been terrible at being grateful. I really, really suck at it.

My Experience with Gratitude Lists

Let’s just say — not…

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To a game of procrastination

Even when you have nothing exciting planned

Photo courtesy of the author

You may be saying to yourself: Wow, that sounds awesome. Exactly how do I go about doing this?

It all begins with mindfulness.

Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not the most mindful person. Frankly, I find it to be quite the challenge. As per the above definition, one component of mindfulness is attending to the present moment. That’s not exactly me. Heck, if I could get frequent flyer miles for time-traveling, I would be entitled to multiple free trips around the globe.

Art Bram

I love to write. Why? Because it gets me in touch with myself. It’s therapeutic for me and hopefully helpful to others. That’s my goal, to touch hearts!

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