For most of my life, I struggled with admitting I was wrong. Now, I actually look forward to it.
What brought on my about-face?
The best way I can put it is that I have seen the light. As a result of decades of working on myself, I’ve come to realize that nothing is more important to me than being kind and loving to people — my wife, first and foremost.
Despite that heartfelt insight, there will continue to be occasions when I “lose it,” spouting words to my wife that, let’s just say, I’m far from proud of.
Apparently, the four decades or so I’ve been in therapy are finally paying off — big time.
I could pick myself apart by questioning what the hell took me so long, but I’m happy to say my self-judgment days are over. Judging myself only gets in the way of loving myself — been there, done that.
So bye-bye, self-judgment. Hello, accepting-myself-just-as-I-am! (I just caught my heart smiling as I was keying in those words.)
I feel as if I’ve been reborn, that my 68-year-old body and brain get to time travel back to being a child, but this time with…
My nose isn’t that big in person. Just saying.
Moving on …
I treasure authentic connection. That’s why I read and write on Medium. I’m not interested in finding out “The Top 5 Android Apps of 2020” or the top 5 anything for that matter. If I was, I simply would google it and save the $50 per year Medium subscription cost.
When I read articles, I’m looking for an authentic voice. The more authentic your voice is, the more interested I am in what you have to say and the more I benefit from your words. Because I feel…
Where the heck did you get that notion you’re not good enough?
I can assure you two things …
Most significantly …
It’s FAKE NEWS!
Our “can’t get rid of you too soon” President believes if you tell the same lies enough times, people will accept it as truth. As excruciatingly painful it is to say, we are not so different from “the Donald” in that regard.
When we persist in telling ourselves the same lies about not being good enough, day after day…
It’s easy to be kind, until it isn’t.
There is nothing I value more than being kind. If I could choose one statement to be said about me from the pulpit at my eulogy, it would be …
Art was a kind hearted person.
Yet, I can be one mean, inconsiderate ass at times.
Do you value kindness as I do, yet sometimes inexplicably find yourself acting totally out of character?
Where the “kind thing” you typically would do without giving a second thought to it feels like the “very last thing” you want to do.
It could be a…
Question: What do you do when you need to make an important decision that involves the two people you love the most, they each want their own way, and you feel stuck in the middle?
Answer: Do your best to do what you believe is the right thing according to your values.
The Challenge: One of the two parties will likely be very upset with you.
I am a people pleaser.
The situation above is a people pleaser’s nightmare.
I was in it last week.
I didn’t do what was right for me.
I’m paying the price for that.
I’m more than aware you’re likely a whole lot younger than me. As per Google search results, the average age of a Medium reader is in the ballpark of the 20s through 40s. At the age of 68, I’m not even in the parking lot of the ballpark.
That being said, I’m confident that I can be helpful to you — that our age discrepancy need not be a barrier. I say that not just as a hunch but based on my experience mentoring Anthony, a 27-year-old man I met a few months ago through a meditation site.
Damn it, I’m stressed out already and I haven’t even made it past the first sentence of this article.
“And exactly why are you so stressed, Mr. Bram? This is a bit soon even for you.”
That’s because I’ve changed the damn title about 16 times already (yes, you heard me … 16 times), and I’m still not so sure how much I like it. How am I ever going to complete this article if I can’t even get past deciding on the title?
That’s not to mention I’ve been working on this effing article since Tuesday. …
That is one piece of magnificent writing accompanied by a perfect illustration. Thank you for that.
However, on its own, it lacks range. Therefore, while crafting a masterpiece, a painter prefers to mix it with other colors. It adds a layer of depth, expressing a range of expressions rather than a single note emotion.
I can imagine you telling yourself — There has to be a catch somewhere. Art doesn’t know me from a hole in the wall. Why is he offering me all of these suggestions for free when he could have just as easily kept them for himself?
There’s absolutely no catch, I promise you — that’s not my style.
It boils down to two reasons:
I love to write. Why? Because it gets me in touch with myself. It’s therapeutic for me and hopefully helpful to others. That’s my goal, to touch hearts!