Never Suppress Being Your Authentic Self
Because you’ll pay a big price for it as will others, even if they have no conscious awareness of it
That’s my first thing in the morning insight.
I’m sick and tired of being afraid of being me.
All because I have this warped perception that I need to be perfect.
That I need everyone to be happy with me.
That god forbid I offend somebody.
That god forbid I come across awkward and embarrass myself.
Do you have any freaking idea how much anxiety that causes me? How much suffering?
I am a gift to the world. Not every aspect of me. Yes, sometimes I can be a pain in the ass.
Annoying because I tend to repeat myself. Although I have a legitimate excuse, as I’ve been diagnosed as having memory issues, haha, and true.
I also have an annoying quality of cutting people off in conversation. Mostly due to anxiety about getting in what I have to say.
Does that make me the worst person in the world, deserved of self-condemnation? I hardly think so.
I’m so freaking tired of being afraid of what others think of me. Granted, it’s gotten better over the last few years. A whole bunch better.
Yet I wish that fear would even further diminish. It’s such a waste of time.
What’s Likeable, Even Lovable About Me
In no particular order:
- an overall good guy
- a great listener (and yes, I know that sounds contradictory to my previously telling you I have the habit of cutting others off in conversation, but I’ll tell you when somebody needs to talk about something that’s really troubling, I have an awesome ability to not only hear what they are saying, but pick up on what is unspoken. With the end result that the person REALLY FEELS HEARD. And understood).