On Ego and Higher Self
Listen to and trust the voice of your wise and loving higher self before going into action. You will never regret doing that!
Ego may be defined as a person’s sense of self-esteem. That sounds about right … how one feels about oneself. I will be using the terms ego and self-esteem interchangeably within this post, as they are so related.
Ego can be thought of in both positive and negative ways. For example, it’s desirable to have a healthy ego. Yet, it’s not desirable to have a big ego, otherwise known as being “full of oneself.” If ego were a purely positive term, you couldn’t have too much of it.
Self-Esteem
The source of self-esteem can vary quite significantly among different people. One person’s sense of self-esteem may derive from engaging in acts of kindness and speaking kindly to others. Another person’s sense of self-esteem may quite differently derive from how smart they believe they are, how much money they make, or perhaps how attractive their mate is.
A person’s sense of self-esteem may depend upon others being aware of and thinking well of their successes. This is externally driven self-esteem, as it is based upon what others think of them. Whereas, there are other people who engage in acts of kindness, such as volunteering for a noble cause, and they do it simply because it makes them feel good to be helpful. What others may think doesn’t even enter into the equation.
Higher Self
Higher self is not as nuanced as ego. Ego is something we all “have” to varying degrees. As previously mentioned, it can have both positive and negative elements.
In contrast, higher self is about who we “are” at our very core, which is the most beautiful of four letter words … LOVE.
Actions and words stemming from our higher self are always positive, as they come from our love for others and for ourselves. As previously stated, you can have too much ego. You can’t be too loving.
Higher self and love are tightly intertwined. If your action was unkind, you can be sure it did not stem from higher self. Likewise, if an action stems from higher self, it cannot be unkind.
Bear in mind that how your actions are perceived by others may have little if anything to do with whether they stemmed from your higher self. For example, if you tell your drug addicted child that he absolutely can no longer continue to live in your home until he attends a residential drug addiction program, it’s quite likely he will not be very happy about it. That does not diminish by one iota the love that is behind your action.
Your higher self loves and accepts you just as you are. Your ego may sometimes tell you that you are not enough, that you are falling short in some way. In stark contrast, your higher self would never be so unkind. It only speaks the language of love.
So, on those inevitable occasions when I have acted unkindly or unwisely, my higher self does not simply let me off the hook. It won’t say, “poor, poor Art”, as if I am simply a victim of circumstance. Rather, my higher self will encourage me to take full responsibility for my actions, yet without laying a guilt trip on me. My higher self has full confidence in me, and to the extent I am open to its message, I will learn something valuable about myself and will do better next time I am in a similar situation.
Where I may have “started out” feeling badly about myself, I will “end up” feeling better, as I always do when my actions are in alignment with my core values. My egoic sense of self will likely have not gotten what it wanted – but my core self will have gotten what it needed to help me grow to be the loving individual that my heart desires me to be.
My higher self can be thought of as the most loving and wisest of parents. I only need to seek it out, and I can count on it awaiting me with loving and open arms. My higher self will always seek a positive approach, and will never shame or discourage me. It only seeks that I do my best, rather than having a specific level of attainment for me to reach or to compare me favorably with others.
I strive each day for both my actions and words to be in alignment with my higher self, rather than with my ego. That is my path, my moral compass.
My ego is fearful that I may fall short of the mark, interpreting that as a failure. My higher self does not know this type of fear. I find that simply pondering that truth is stress relieving.
In those inevitable times when I find that my ego has been sitting behind the steering wheel, I need to remember to gently apply my foot to the brakes. When my ego driven car comes to a stop, I will switch the driver back to my higher self. This process may be aided by first quieting myself, perhaps meditating for a few minutes.
Now, with my higher self behind the wheel, I am certain to have a far smoother ride ahead.
My ego was well intended. It thought it was taking good care of me, but it just didn’t know any better. Ego, by definition, is reactive and fear-driven, leading to our taking actions, often impulsive, that will most likely make situations worse. In contrast, higher self is wise, responsive and love-driven, leading to our taking well thought out actions that usually make situations better. For everybody involved.
It is an unobtainable goal to have my actions and words always stem from my higher self. I can say with great confidence that nobody in the history of humanity has ever achieved that pinnacle of success, and I am not about to become the first person.
Suffice to say, my higher self does not have that level of expectation. It understands and accepts that all I can do is try my best to be the best person that I can be. My higher self loves me just as I am, with all my human flaws. It understands that for a variety of reasons, some days I will do far better than others.
All is good, each and every day.
